Archive for the ‘Personal Thought’ category

Wordle of This Blog (Fun)

November 3, 2008

I love playing with this wordle system. http://www.wordle.net

Just thought it was neat,
Richard Harbridge

Who needs a crutch?

July 20, 2008

Your alive.

You stand out.

So loud.

Where to go, tonight the sun shall see your smile.

Somebody’s hands.

Hold your breath and hang on tight.
This is my favorite part.

Your heart.

The sun glinted off the waves. The air felt fresh and clear. If you listen closely you can still hear the call of the birds. Greeting the sun in the morning. The flowers smell so beautiful and the grass tickles your toes. It’s a beautiful kind of place.

I wake up exhausted. Every morning. As I stand and look out the windows. It is raining, grey buildings and honking horns greet shouts of tired people. In this city we don’t sleep. Each morning it’s always the same, no beautiful songs or caresses.

Each shoe slips on tight. The tie feels like a weight on your chest.

Coffee. It’s a poor substitute for purpose.

Meetings and phone calls. Not exactly friendship.

The sound of the microwave pinging. Birds sound sweeter.

5 oclock a fake kind of freedom.

And as you head home and stop at a corner. The sound of music and laughter makes you turn, and lit up signs give the suggestion of a sun. Drawn by the warmths of smiles.

Until morning, then sleep with empty pockets. Waiting for another day of mistakes and illusions.

Squinting against the light and holding your head to keep it from spinning. Someone pulls in front of you. Brake lights. Screeching. Much larger holes in your pockets. Upset you get out of the car and go to give them a piece of your mind.

She stops you. In a world where nothing is real. She is a dream.

Don’t worry about it. Your broke. Your late. Nothing matters so much as talking with her while you wait for the tow. The bar lights are far dimmer than her smile. And you wake up. To your sun.

The air feels fresh and clear. If you listen you can still hear the call of the birds as they greet the sun in the morning.

Misunderstand.

June 15, 2008

There is a flow to life.

I can’t wait till that flow brings me back to the sun. It’s cold and dark here.

Sparkling waves in the sunlight carry a feather that spins around in delight.

The world is silent.

Never before have I wanted to be loud.

If I held my breath
Would you stay?

What are we searching for?
In a sea of moments.

Each time a moment comes to pass.

Is it a simple touch or a sense of love?
Hear the sound of someones love.
Smell the scent of someones love.

Would your lips taste the way love does?

Would we fly to some place warm like doves?

Sleep Well

June 12, 2008

I still believe.

I want to sit by the sea.
There should be more firelit dancing in life.

I haven’t seen the moon in awhile. Hope he’s doing well.

Still as luminescent as always old friend?
“Of course of course.” He would respond. And give as always a radiant smile.
Have you been enjoying the pleasant weather lately?

He’s a nice sort, the moon. He always bathes couples with a beautiful light.
But sits almost alone in the sky.
I asked him about it once. If moons get lonely. Is he a lonely type of moon?

He isn’t the lonely type of moon at all though.
“Lonely? Surrounded by all these beautiful stars? Chasing my sun every night and waiting for her every day?”

None of the stars are yours though.

It’s so dark up there.

Always chasing the sun, always waiting.

“The sun gives me her light, she warms me, and makes my smile radiant. Without her, I would be cold and lifeless.”

It’s a sleepless sort of night.
I want to just stay up all night and write about foolish things like the grass and the leaves. And the conversations we would have.

I am looking for something. But dont know where to look.

Conversing with Conversations

April 23, 2008

I don’t know why but today I felt like writing but couldn’t think of anything interesting to write. So I just had conversations with myself and wrote them down. Take it how you’d like.

Life.

An individual.

What purpose or importance does one have?

What purpose does anyone have?

Are some more important than others?

Self Interest.

Why?

Because everyone believes they are important.

That seems narcissistic doesn’t it?

What person isn’t narcissistic?

———————————————————

There is a limitation to our understanding of others.

How so?

We can only understand to a specific degree. Naturally it is reached by placing yourself in their position and trying to understand them. We are limited in our ability to understand.

That makes little sense.

Try thinking like me for a moment and it will.

I can’t possibly think exactly like you, no matter what I will still be uncertain if I am thinking exactly like you were. There will always be ‘if’s’ and only potentially vague possibilities of what your meaning was behind what you just said.

Precisely.

———————————————————

Do you ever feel detached from what’s happening around you?

Like a feeling of being above it all? Aloof?

No, more of an emotional detachment, the ability to observe without feeling.

You mean feeling aloof?

———————————————————

I don’t want to influence them.

Why not?

Because then I would be changing them, I would be effecting who they become.

How is that a bad thing?

Because then I would be changing them into what I think they should become, or based off of what I believe to be right.

At that point it wouldn’t matter, they would think you were right, because they would be changed to think like you, and you would think you were right because you would have changed yourself.

———————————————————

If you were faced with a decision, and you weren’t certain what the right choice to take was, but had to make a choice. What would you do?

I wouldn’t allow myself to be placed in that position.

Let’s say you had no way of avoiding it.

It’s not about avoiding it, I would force my own understanding and moral system to change so that I would never be uncertain of what the right action was. I would still know what decision would be the right one.

What if that was the wrong choice?

It wouldn’t be wrong to me.

———————————————————

I want someone to tell me all the answers to everything.

Alright I will do it.

But you don’t know everything.

Sure I do. Ask me any question and I will answer it, I will tell you everything and you will know everything.

But you might be wrong about certain things, and they might not be true in a factual sort of way.

So what you really want is just to know all the truths and facts. Since only you can decide whether to believe if something is true, how can anyone ever tell you all the things you want to know?

———————————————————

You’re rather arrogant and controlling.

Think what you’d like.

That attitude is what I mean, it drips arrogance.

Because I said something that invited you to think freely? Yes I see how that’s controlling.

I see how that’s arrogant. Not controlling.

Then aren’t you feeling arrogant? By viewing me in a way that is less than you, or not seeing me as being more important than yourself.

Not if I see us as equals.

How can we be equals and not both arrogant if I am arrogant?

———————————————————

Why are you always talking philosophically?

What do you classify as talking philosophically?

Talking like a philosopher. As in speaking in a way that is or is related to equanimity, enlightenment, and/or wisdom.

How else should I speak? Perhaps it’s you who listen philosophically and I simply speak normally.

———————————————————

I don’t understand all of this.

At the risk of sounding ironic, what parts of ‘all of this’ don’t you understand?

———————————————————

Can everything be broken down?

Infinitely?

Yes. Can everything be broken down again and again, halved and halved and halved again.

No.

Why not?

Because of that words meaning. No. It’s a definitive meaning.

But isn’t it possible anyways?

How can something that’s impossible according to our understanding be possible?

Because anything is possible.

If anything was possible there would be no definitives. So I wouldn’t be able to answer your question definitively.

So the only real answer then is maybe?

Possibly.

Honestly I Believe

May 11, 2007

My head is screaming now.

My summer this year will only last 3 days.

But I am oddly very happy about that. These last weeks have been stressful in a way I have never experienced. But the fact that I beat them and pulled more effort out of me than I ever have before makes me feel better. Even if we don’t pass, we couldn’t have done better, we couldn’t have tried harder.

People go through millions of challenges in their life. A few always stand out.

Sometimes you can’t always succeed in the way you wanted to.
Sometimes you make mistakes and fail.
Sometimes you succeed more than you ever thought you would.
Sometimes you do better than expected.

I have gone through worse than these last few weeks. Much worse.
I’ve messed up, I’ve come out on top.
I’ve learned from it, and became a better person because of it.

We grow like trees reaching for the sun, reaching for our warmth.
Our life comes from our roots. They make us strong.
Our roots are in our memories; they are a part of us.

Take a breath. Hold it in. Give it back. Give back more than you took.

Don’t wait for tomorrow’s.
Don’t hesitate for today.
Don’t regret your past.

Time for me to grow older.
Time for me to grow bolder.
Not too fast though.
Not too fast.

It’s Like Dying, It’s Like Being Born Again

April 13, 2007

It’s like the way a tear drop can turn into a torrential downpour.

Explosions dance across the sky. Illuminating moments of clarity. Where you can see all of the world.

While inside the fire burns its light illuminating the shadows. They move and flutter as the flame dances to a tune only the wind knows.

Like watching rain falling against a window, it finds its way around. Shifting and changing in whatever way seems right for it, in the ways that allow the water to flow.

Flow.

The urge to simply run outside in the pouring rain is so strong. To hear the clashing rumbling of thunder and the pattering of the rain against the world as it soaks you to your very soul.

Letting it fill you with life and energy.
Your face lifts up and it streams down your cheeks, along your closed eyelids, tracing your dreams, and past your trembling lips into your waiting open mouth.
Removing your thirsts, satisfying you.

Pure. Clean. Crisp.

I want to climb something, something that looks impossibly high. Impossibly difficult. Quickly I would grab each ledge and pull myself up. Finding grooves and cracks and testing each part as I work my way up. The stone cutting into my hands, the harsh breezes pulling at my body, and my weight pulling me down.

It would be my own strength, my own will that allows me to continue up.

Above the very clouds. Beyond exhaustion. My arms unable to move anymore. I could cling there and say, ‘so this is how high I could go’.

Looking down as my arms begin shaking, I would be able to see the world from a new persepective. I would be able to see the rock beneath my very fingers. Feel each groove, each spot where the elements have given it shape.

I would thank it for helping me get this high.

And then I would let go.

There would be no fear. I had made it as high as I could. There would be no regret.

Don’t mistake it, its a beautiful thing. I would fall, and because I had tried so hard, and didn’t give up I would be able to fall for longer and farther than had I just given up early on.

I would be able to see the world come into more clarity as I fell. Feel the wind trace each part of my body. Giving me shape.

And I would be able to rest after such a long climb. After so much work and struggle.

Asleep in someones waiting arms as they catch me?

Or awake and screaming?