Archive for April 2005

Before

April 21, 2005

May. May. May. I look forward to you.

I miss the sound of waves crashing against rocks. The sky is still so pretty. I wonder often if I am dreaming. Life seems to float by. Its like that feeling when your tired and driving along. You don’t even see the road anymore. You just know your driving home. Driving to where you want to get to. Then you can sleep.

When is the right time?What do you live for?
What would you die for?

What is the most important thing in the world to you?

Do you hear them? Soft bells jingling in the wind. So pretty, so sweet. So beautiful.

They make me want to run. To jump and fly out over the sea and watch the waves come in. Then out in the open blue sky, on the open blue water you let yourself rest. Floating on the almost still water looking up at soft white clouds floating by. It is warm, comfortable, and you hear… a heartbeat going faster and faster

and you feel yourself start to worry. The water becomes so much darker and your heart beat becomes frantic as you feel yourself begin to sink into the dark water. At first you think that your just imagining it, but then you see that you really are sinking beneath the water. You thrash about and try to stop from sinking. Getting heavier and heavier you feel yourself fall below the waves. The sky is so dark through the water. The sun no where to be seen. So silent. So still.

Then a ripple. Another ripple. Light above. Beautiful light. You want to reach out to it and swim your way back to it. But arms wont move. Legs remain still. Fear that the light will pass you by runs through your heart and your fingers move a little. Ripples meet ripples and around you the water begins to churn about. Above you the light is getting closer. Brighter. Shimmering down around you it makes the water warmer. The water seems to be getting clearer. More ripples as your feet and hands begin to move. The light stops above you. Its getting warm, the water is spinning around you. Then your heart beat thunders as you realize it has finally started up again. No wonder it was so silent. The water around you thunders with your heart beat and you begin swimming up towards the light. So warm, so beautiful, and the light slowly becomes everything to you.

So close you are and you reach out a hand to break the surface of the water. Fingers touch sunlight, the wind kisses your hand and you feel another hand grip yours. Wings and light lift you up. The world falls away. You are dreaming. Pretty. Everything.

Soft green grass. Bright blue skies. Clear and musical streams. Warmth and Life.